queer guide to michigan beach towns & road tripping

beach sunset in South Haven, Michigan

G: Shannon and I both grew up going to South Haven, Michigan - a beach town about 3 hours from Chicago or Detroit. My grandparents have a condo there, and Shannon's family rents a beach house for a week every summer. We've traced it back and we definitely were there for overlapping dates multiple times. Shannon's mom and I even ran in the same Blueberry Festival 5k! 

Returning to this space felt especially kismet for me; I feel so lucky to be welcomed by Shannon's family and to relive parts of my childhood. Plus, we got to make everything gay, which is my favorite activity.

S: And make everything gay we did! I had such a blast on this trip with Gillian. This was the first time they met my extended family, and I am so grateful that they were game to do it. Plus, we got to see my parents and sisters and a few other friends along the way. It was everything we could have hoped for... 

...except for, maybe, the car ride that preceded it.

day 1: what is the best audiobook to fill a grueling 12-hour car ride?

G: Apparently, Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six by Lisa Unger. This was perhaps the worst book I have ever read (heard?), but it did keep me awake. And, when I did sleep through it, I didn't miss anything. Take this recommendation (or warning) as you will.

Shannon and I left our place in Berkshire County at 4am to beat the traffic. I had a meltdown in the kitchen right before we left because I had forgotten to prepare my sourdough starter for the freezer. The past few months have been pretty wild with some work stress, so I haven't been my best, most organized self. Luckily, Shannon's mom brought me some new starter so I was able to bring that home on our way back.

We made it to South Haven by 6:30pm and promptly took a long walk on the beach to stretch our legs. Meanwhile, we were relaying the tale of our work stress to Shannon's younger sister, and all of a sudden she was telling us to be quiet - to our surprise, we turned around and saw someone propose to their partner as the sun was setting on the beach. It was a silly and dreamy end to the day and perfectly ushered us into our week of vacation.

S: We scarfed down some food with my extended family that night and quickly headed to sleep. The day was exhausting, but there is no sweeter face I would rather see in my passenger seat than Gillian's. One of my favorite things about our relationship is how we travel together. We have made some pretty crazy trips in our days together (overnight train rides, red eye flights, and this) and they are always understanding, supportive, and positive all the way through. 

day 2: sunny smiles, sweet sunsets, and an impromptu beach wedding (not ours)

Gillian (left) and Shannon (right)

G: Our number one goal for our first full day of vacation was to be lazy. Think: sleeping in, walking leisurely to get breakfast from a bakery, sitting on the porch of a beach house and people watching, floating in the water with no real aim but to relax. We really did just that!

S: Breakfast was at Bunde's Bakery & Cafe, which, to our delight, served delicious breakfast goods AND Starbuck's coffee and tea (score). This was the first moment it really sunk in for us that we'd made it to vacation, something we had been looking forward to for months.

G: To continue the spontaneous and romantic theme of the trip, we saw a full wedding happen on the beach that morning. The couple and their family tied the knot in beautiful August weather, microphone hooked up to the nearest car. It was sweet and simple and just so lovely. I could even hear bits of the vows from where I was sitting on the porch, and let me tell you, I shed a tear!

S: We spent the day soaking in the sunshine and enjoying the company of one another and my family. There is nothing quite like swimming in Lake Michigan. I grew up right by Lake Superior, which is so clear you can honestly drink it but is outlandishly cold, and also visited family in the Detroit area, near the very polluted Lake Erie. Our summer trips to Lake Michigan's sandy beaches in South Haven were a highlight of my childhood, and through my adulthood, no other beach has ever compared. 

We capped the night with burgers (beef burgers courtesy of my uncle, Beyond Burger for Gillian courtesy of my sweet mother, who didn't want Gillian to feel left out) and slept very soundly on our pullout couch bed. 

day 3: tandem kayaking, paddle board fails, and drunk Barbie

Gillian (left) and Shannon (right) in their Beach Ken outfits

G: At this point, we felt more rested and wanted to take advantage of our vacation time. After setting off for a morning run, we spent the day at the beach kayaking and paddleboarding. That night, I stole Shannon away for a dinner date at Admiral Jack's, a restaurant right on the water. I'm a vegetarian, and I had forgotten how meat-centric the Midwest can be, so I found a spot where I could get a poke bowl and eat some vegetables!

S: I had been craving some sit-down alone time with Gillian to talk about trip highlights thus far, so it was the perfect dinner date. Our food was delicious, and because the restaurant is right on the water, we basked in the light summer breeze and got to really relax.  

G: That night, we went to see the Barbie movie at the local theater with Shannon's sisters. We laughed, we cried (well, I cried), and it was a blast. I absolutely loved the film, and it was moving to be in a theater full of people of all ages dressed in pink for the showing. Post-movie, we grabbed drinks at Captain Lou's, which made me feel very adult - the last time I was in South Haven I was probably 16, and drinking was the furthest thing from my mind. It was fun to come back and be able to enjoy that side of the town.

view of the moon at Captain Lou's

day 4: gay southern food and window shopping

Gillian window shopping in Saugatuck

G: Shannon's mom brought us to Saugatuck for an early lunch at the Southerner, which is exactly as it sounds - honey butter and biscuits and fried chicken. I had a delicious tomato egg sandwich on a biscuit with a side of....biscuit. The whole restaurant was lined with Pride Flags, which felt really special. Honestly, I was shocked by the queer-friendliness of our whole trip. It's really exciting to see places hang flags and have stickers demonstrating their support - I know it's such a small gesture, but it really makes me feel seen and safe!

S: Next, we explored Saugatuck, a town with great window shopping about 30 minutes from South Haven. Gillian hadn't been before, so I enjoyed taking them to stores and bakeries I always peeked into as a young child. We found some sweet keepsakes - Gillian bought an iconic sweater vest that I swear was made for them, and we also nabbed a book and some crystals (in true Gillian and Shannon fashion, my crystal was a carved turtle and Gillian's a carved mushroom). We finished the evening with more beach and family time. 

sweet Shannon on the beach

day 5: beach yoga, gifts for friends, and oh my darling Clementine's

family dinner at Clementine's

G; By this point, I was really starting to feel renewed, and we made it to an early morning beach yoga class. I'm actually a certified yoga teacher myself, though I haven't been practicing much lately, and this class was perfect. I'd never done yoga on the beach before, and it was so soothing! I'll meditate any day if it's to the sound of the waves. After the class, we spent the morning in the water, swimming and relaxing. 

S: Next on the agenda was another round of shopping, this time in South Haven proper. We had already strolled around town a few times, but we wanted to pick out some nice gifts for the friends who were hosting us on our travels back to Massachusetts at the end of the week. Mark (a longtime friend of mine from childhood) and his wife live together in Port Huron, MI, a perfect pit stop on the way home if we were to cut through Canada. And Megan (one of our old work friends) recently moved to Syracuse, NY, another stop on the route home. We ended up picking out some home goods for Mark and Tiernan and some fancy tea for Megan. 

The entire group of us (Gillian and I plus my entire family) ate dinner at Clementine's, a tried and true family tradition. They serve top-notch bar food, and Gillian got to experience their world-famous (or at least, famed within my family) tower of onion rings. We had a nightcap at Captain Lou's and spent our last South Haven evening watching the sunset and chatting with my family.

Gillian on the beach at sunset

day 6: on the road again (this time toward Canada)

G: Since we knew we were leaving for a few days of driving (we broke up the drive on the way back), we got up early and went for a final morning run plus a jump in the lake before we left. It was our goal to swim every day of the trip, and the weather cooperated!

S: We packed everything up and had one final hurrah at Captain Lou's with the whole fam, this time for lunch. Then we were on our merry way, driving about 3.5 hours toward Port Huron. My friend Mark and his wife Tiernan recently moved there, and Mark greeted us with open arms and his signature tour guide-like knowledge of his new city. We ate a delicious dinner on the terrace of Vintage Tavern, grabbed some ice cream, and chatted the night away. 

day 7: Niagara Falls is too crowded (but wow)

S: Mark's wife Tiernan works the night shift as a park ranger, so we didn't see her until the next morning. She is absolutely lovely and it was a blast spending time with the both of them over a delicious breakfast of eggs, chickpeas, spinach, and lemon. The two wed during the throes of COVID in an intimate immediate family-only ceremony that they livestreamed on Facebook. It feels so special to see them both together now.

G: On the way back, passports in tow, we made our way through Canada. After mentally adjusting to kilometers per hour, the shortcut went pretty well, and we had planned to stop at Niagara Falls to use the restroom and walk around. Well, that didn't work out at all! It was like Disneyland - people everywhere, fist fights over parking spots, lines of cars around the block. We drove back and forth a few times to catch a glimpse of the beautiful water and then headed back into the United States.

After our failed attempt to stop at Niagara Falls, we drove to Syracuse, where we stayed with our dear friend Megan. We were pretty tired at this point, so we had a takeout dinner from Noodle House. It was Shannon's first time trying Pho, and it was delicious! We polished off the night with a round of New Girl episodes, and then, we fell asleep.

day 8: stuck on the thruway (with love) and the sweet recipe to coming home

G: The next morning, we had a lovely brunch in Syracuse at Cafe Blue and headed toward a bookstore when we realized we missed an exit (or picked the wrong bookstore to begin with? unclear). We finally made it to Books End Bookstore, which had a really amazing collection of used and new books for affordable prices.

On our way home, we listened to a queer YA novel called The Heartbreak Bakery by A. R. Capetta. It was a sweet book with an element magical realism. I really loved it (and wished it had been around when I was a teenager). The story carried us all the way home to Berkshire County (and then some - we listened to it while running a few errands over the next week).

day 9: putt putt date

G: Determined to not let the vacation end despite being back in our home, we crossed off a summer bucket list item by playing putt putt at Baker's Golf. We had so many laughs (and many mulligans) and somehow tied in the end!

This vacation was so lovely, so needed, and so meaningful. I feel incredibly grateful to be able to take the time to rest, and I loved meeting all of Shannon's extended family, who welcomed me with open arms (and so much food). It felt like a huge gift to be able to relive this part of my childhood with my life partner. I'm so excited for our next adventure!

S: This was my first time back to South Haven in years. I cherished reliving many of my most beloved childhood memories through the lens of adulthood (a phenomenon that at times robs places of magic, but in some instances, like this one, just expands it). This was the place my quiet and adventurous cousin taught me to skateboard. Up north in the town is an old blue porch that remains one of the most vivid visuals I hold near and dear - the porch of the house that my family rented for one week each summer, a house that we stuffed to the limit each year. Across is the beach from my childhood that I escaped to on Michigan's best summer days while in college in Ann Arbor - I would drive across the state all by myself and float in the clear water for hours. 

It has become even more myth than kitschy-Great-Lakes-beach-town in my heart since Gillian and I uncovered our mutual visits. Maybe a little bit of South Haven has always been the thread that holds us tightly together.

xo

the roommates